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Did you know that family is very important to everyone in Costa Rica? In Costa Rica, family sticks together, even if they can’t stand each other. Costa Ricans do everything with their family as much as possible. They are very traditional in their family lifestyle and can have multi-generation households to live in peace forever.
If you’re going to live in Costa Rica, this subject is important to you. You might need to adjust your lifestyle a bit, especially during important holidays.
It is common for a family in Costa Rica to get together every weekend. Some bring the beers, others the meat for the barbecue, another the salad, and a fourth dessert. They take turns or cook together. Big happenings are soccer games, baby showers, birthdays, Election Day, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and Easter week. They find a reason to celebrate or have a good time almost daily. Their happenings are very similar to tailgate parties in the US.
Costa Ricans are happy people, maybe the happiest on the planet, and they grab every opportunity to build a party with family only. You’re considered an outsider until you start dating or marry one of them. It’s unusual for a Tico to invite outsiders to their family gatherings. Consider yourself special when invited to one.
For lack of family
It seems like Ticos are all family from each other. But, since your family is probably in another country and the friends you grew up with don’t live here either, you might get homesick. There are hundreds of expats in the same situation as you are. For lack of family in Costa Rica, plan and organize your holiday parties and dinners well ahead so all your friends in Costa Rica will have a nice place to go to.
I’m sure you’ll find many new friends in Costa Rica to celebrate Thanksgiving, football finals, basketball games, Independence Day, and other important events. If you don’t know where to start looking for friends, the agent who sold you the house can get you going quickly.
You’re my daughter’s gringo boyfriend?
The Importance of Family in Costa Rican Culture
Costa Rica’s culture is deeply rooted in family traditions. This connection often extends beyond the nuclear family to include grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and even close family friends, forming a strong intergenerational network. Families gather frequently for meals, celebrations, and holidays, reflecting a sense of unity and mutual care.
The significance of family is evident during holidays like Christmas, Easter, and Independence Day, where family gatherings are a central feature. Traditional meals, such as tamales during Christmas, are often prepared collectively, emphasizing cooperation and shared effort.
Costa Ricans, or “Ticos,” also prioritize the well-being of their elders. It is common for elderly family members to live with their children or grandchildren, maintaining a close bond across generations. This highlights the collective responsibility and respect for elders ingrained in Costa Rican culture.
Family vacation trips
As I said, Easter, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve are spent together, often at the beach, and the whole family goes. Some rent a beach home for the holidays, others own their own luxury beach villa, and there are also a lot of locals who go camping under the almond trees right on the beach.
We used to go with one of the fishing boats we owned from Puntarenas to Playa Tortuga in the Gulf of Nicoya with the whole family during Easter or Christmas. That meant all the family they could gather, and we had a boat full. We would build a great campfire and roast a whole pig on it, taking turns turning the pig around and around. We’d stay overnight on Tortuga beach and just sleep on a beach towel, to be woken up in the middle of the night by the crabs crawling all over us. We always had a great time with my family in Costa Rica.
If you can become friendly with your Tico neighbors, almost every one of the 14 tips to handle a Tico family below will work for you even if you do not start dating or marry a Tica or Tico.
Dating
Once you start dating, you’ll find the family first possessive, then protective, and maybe they’ll talk to you. If you’re a gringo (any foreigner), you find some will love to talk to you just to show off how much English they know, and others will not speak to you at all because they’re afraid of you. After all, you’re from a different planet. That depends, of course, on how educated or well-traveled the family is.
If you date your girlfriend at your in-laws, you better go somewhere for privacy. It is customary to be surrounded by the whole family when you try to watch TV with your girl or boyfriend.
14 Tips on how to handle family
1. Show Respect and Appreciation
Costa Rican families value respect and kindness. Greeting each family member warmly, using polite language, and acknowledging their contributions fosters goodwill. Learning and using a few Spanish phrases to express gratitude can also make a positive impression.
2. Embrace Family Traditions
Participating in family gatherings and cultural traditions is a meaningful way to connect. Whether attending a Sunday lunch, celebrating a birthday, or helping prepare food for a holiday, showing enthusiasm for these moments strengthens bonds.
3. Communicate Openly and Kindly
Open communication is key to navigating differences. If cultural or personal expectations feel challenging, address them respectfully. Costa Rican families value harmony and will appreciate a diplomatic approach to resolving conflicts or misunderstandings.
4. Value Community Over Individualism
Adjusting to a collective mindset can help build stronger relationships. Embrace the idea of sharing responsibilities and decisions, particularly in matters that impact the whole family.
5. Be Patient and Understanding
For those new to the culture, patience is essential. Relationships with extended family members may take time, but consistent effort and a genuine desire to connect will gradually foster trust and acceptance.
6. Bring something to eat
Never go empty-handed when you visit family. Always bring sweet bread, a couple of cinnamon rolls, cake, or whatever will do, as you’ll definitely be invited for coffee.
7. Offer to help
Everybody volunteers for something, whatever the occasion is. Offer to do the dishes or anything to help. Serve yourself, although when you are offered a drink or food, accept it.
8. Bring a gift
Just like a gringo mom, your Tica mom-in-law will also love you to bring a gift. Don’t do it all the time, but bring some flowers now and then, or this bottle of wine that you know she likes, it’ll make you this special guy. Don’t forget about Dad, though. If he loves soccer and Saprissa is his team, buy him a Saprissa shirt or even a La Sele shirt, and you won’t be able to do wrong in a lifetime.
9. Don’t overdress
Never overdress; you already stand out with your blond hair and blue eyes.
10. Make friends with grandma
You get along with grandma; you’ve got it made. Mom is important, too, but Grandma is even more important.
11. Don’t live next door
Don’t live too close to your in-laws; they’ll visit daily. Get as far away as you can.
12. Make your financial situation clear
Make sure they all understand you are at the same financial level as the rest of the family and not the rich gringo dude.
13. Don’t do business with family
Don’t do business with your family in Costa Rica; you’ll go on your face big time, and it will always be your fault.
14. Go to church
I hope you like attending church, as they might expect you to go with them. They will also expect you to marry in church. If you do, you need to do the pre-marriage course, where you better not show you speak any Spanish at all because they will make it hard on you. Just play the stupid and pretend you don’t understand anything, and they’ll leave you alone.
I hope this blog will help you adjust quickly to your new lifestyle in Costa Rica when you start dating or marry a Tico or Tica so you can end up with family there.
Are you planning to move to Costa Rica and purchase real estate? Then request a Zoom meeting with me now and learn all you need to know quickly.
