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Does my Costa Rican wife beat me? Mine doesn’t, but I know a couple of guys in Costa Rica who get beat up by their Costa Rican wives. And the women get away with it.
Marrying is so easy, especially when you’re in love with a beautiful woman. But divorcing her might not be a lot of fun.
In most cases, the beating is not a physical beating. But especially if there are children involved, what follows the divorce is many years of hell. In my case, my ex beat the hell out of me for years.
“Don’t you dare to ask for a divorce, I’ll have your butt in jail in no time” is how they keep their husband hostage.
If you do decide to get a divorce in Costa Rica, you better pay your alimony or child support in time. Being in jail in Costa Rica is not a good deal. You’ll be in an overcrowded jail with bad food and no visitors; unless you’d want your ex-wife to visit you.
Falling in Love
It’s time to warn all those guys that fall in love with those beautiful Costa Rican women after they move to Costa Rica. You’ll find many of them on the Facebook pages, complaining about everything in Costa Rica.
If you fall for a Latin woman in Costa Rica, you might be in for a treat. They are all beautiful! So, if you move to Costa Rica while being married, don’t even look at other women. And stay away from places like Hotel del Rey. Make sure you behave. If you don’t, you might be in for an even bigger treat.
Costa Rica has a few great laws that were made to protect women and children. In 1995, the Penalty Act of Violence Against Women was created. Before this law, a macho society had always protected men who used violence to keep the wife “in line”.
That law was very necessary and it made Costa Rican society much better and healthier, for a while. Until some women figured out they could take advantage of it. Suddenly, women are protected, but men are not.
There are about 110,000 divorcees in Costa Rica, which is a lot on a population of 5 million people.
Getting a divorce as a foreigner living in Costa Rica is not so easy as it sounds. Some divorced men are accused by their ex-partners of violence, sexual assault, and even assault on their children. Sometimes this is done, to make sure they will receive more alimony. They also take away the ex-husband’s visiting rights, just to make them suffer.
Kids are manipulated and made to suffer unnecessarily, which is sad. I went through that in my first marriage and I even have one in my own family going through that now. Society is sick and nobody is doing anything against it. Costa Rican leading newspaper La Nacion wrote an article recently about the fact that 86% of the 21,415 formal allegations of violence against a woman are investigated but didn’t go anywhere.
I paid child support for 22 years. Although I hated it, it was the right thing to do. The law obliged me to pay for child support. Even though the judges found it acceptable that my ex would also live on that child support instead of finding a job.
As a gringo in Costa Rica (any foreigner is seen as a gringo in Costa Rica) you’re in trouble if you file for a divorce. Most judges in family court are women. They part from the fact that all gringos are rich, so as a gringo you’ll always get the short end of the stick. When I met Dany, my wife since 1990, I was broke. I was working 24-7 trying to stay alive and trying not to end up in jail by making my monthly child support payments in time.
Thanks to Dany, I survived those payments as we have lived for quite a few years mostly on her income as all of mine was taken by the courts. We celebrated the last payment a few years ago big time. Unbelievably, she still puts up with me.
We all have to eat!
Family court judges do not seem to understand that the ex-husband also has to eat. These judges will allow the ex-wife to demand more alimony or child support than the ex-husband earns. It doesn’t matter how well you prove that you do not make that kind of money.
To fight the allegations of being a rich person, you will have to hire your own attorney while you are already not able to make your monthly payments. The process is long and tedious. Every year the request for a raise starts over again until your children are over 18 years old. And if they study, child support will be paid until they’re 25 years old.
If you want (or need) to leave the country, you have to deposit a full year of alimony or child support PLUS the Christmas bonus in the court. Unless your ex signs off on it and allows you to leave the country without the deposit. When you get back from your trip, it will take you 2 -3 months to get the deposit back. Once the money is returned by the court, there is always money missing.
Entertaining the kids without having any money is also not so easy, and no fun for the kids. Often, the ex-wife gets away by making visiting rights impossible to accomplish. In my case, I was never allowed to take the kids for a whole weekend. On my daughter’s 15th birthday, which is a big one for girls in Costa Rica, I was not allowed to take her to Disneyland. And that was after I bought all the tickets. I fought her in court about it, but again, I got the short end of the stick.
When you do not pay your alimony or child support, you better find yourself a very good attorney or you’ll go to jail. By the way, living with a woman for 5 years, even without marrying her, will give the woman the same rights as if she were married.
Women and children need protection because there are a lot of violent men in this world. But men need protection too and we are a long way from there. If you move to Costa Rica being a single man, use your head before you fall in love. If you move to Costa Rica while being married, don’t be stupid and read this article again.
Main image: Background photo created by master1305 – www.freepik.com
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